heart-ache prevention...

OK... i know its a bit weird for me to post an emo post here in my blog since its my personal principle NOT to be emo and stuff cause i'm a grown up boy and i don't have to be emo and stuff but i just have to be emo for this...

As some and not ALL of you guys know, i meet someone last month and we have been going out for like a month... duh?! and to make this a bit easier to understand... have a "monolog" kinda mind while reading this...

][It was the sweetest and most unexpected things cause i didn't see this coming at all... i wasn't really looking but it came to me... so fine... i went with the flow la so to say... so everything was ok and went quite well in the first few weeks as we get to know each other... I feel comfortable and quite relax when we spend time together... and i have to say that "missing someone" attacks me when we are apart...

Before anything, my attitude towards this was relatively cool... not obsessive yet maintain a certain interest... In other words, i was not sweep off my feet nor on cloud nine.. i was just... ME... at first it was a really good thing as this is how we should play the dating game but it seems that that was not the case... we were not in the dating game at all... we were already in a relationship after only two weeks of getting to know each other... i was a bit hesitated and taken back as i never expect it to be so soon... so i kept quiet and try to hide it... i thought i will be able to develop "comitted" kinda feelings but as it turns out, it didn't... maybe i was concluding too fast or maybe its just is...

anyway, worriedness begins to crept slowly into my heart and the very idea of hurting and crushing someone's heart and dream is too scary for my brain to even create a thought for... the longer i stay in this, the harder and deeper the hole will be for me to get out... but how can i end such a sweet and wonderful thing?! Do my feelings really matter that much?! How much are at stake right here for not?! Am i really that superficial?!

I'm really scared that guiltiness will starts to fill me when i make any decisions... if i do stay, time will be wasted, wounds might even be worst... if i leave, heart's are broken, i might lose out at destiny... so which should i choose?! To stay or to go?!

No one can answer this for me... Only myself... i've told myself that i would not make this complicating and yet here i am... i will gather my thoughts properly and shall make the best decisions for the both of us... ][

IF you don't understand... its fine... thought i let some of my thoughts out of my already-messy head...