][ the conclusion of an end but the start of a new beginning ][
I woke up with a little buzz in my head... took me some time to find my bearing, then my whole... entire... body aches, then i remember, last night, i mean this morning, i kinda stayed up till like 7.00 am, and then decided to take a nap before the ceremony, but it seems that there is no welcoming spot to rest my seriously sleep deprieved head... and finally, i decided to sleep at the slab of stones which was suppose to be like a divider but everyone there treat it as a sleeping bed.. oh well...
anyway, i woken up like a few hours later and can hear a lot of buzzing sounds... i woke up and saw that many people have arrive and was sitting at the tables provided and talking among themselves... i sat up and look around and notice that my couz, sue lynn... is sleeping like next to me... lol... she had a pillow over her head... like hiding her sleeping face from the world... lol... i understand... like who would want their sleepy face be reveal... its suppose to be a private and totally confidential thing, only to be reveal to ur one and only, true love... cheh wah...
anyway, me mum asked me whether i wanna consume any food to filled my stomach, i reply no, cause i'm not really in the mood to eat... so i woke up and freshen up and came out and then sat down and waited... and waited... and waited...
then it was time...
the time has come for the final bow
the time has come for the final respect
the time has come to move on
we were all required by the guy in charge to be kneeling down beside the wooden box... then one by one were called according to their position in the family and give their respect.. .then it was the grandchildrens... i was the one who represents the son's side... so they asked me to hold the offerings and offered them... it was a bit akward as i'm not sure wat to do... but the guy was directing me ... so i don't look like a lost chicken running around without a head... so after me was a whole bunch or other people... then towards the end, was friends and distant relatives... then the final hour has come... it was time to burn...
the guy asked all of us to clear of the floor and go out of the lot and asked us not to look... as if we are all robots, all of us just follow the directions... then without realizing it, the box was already in the modified vehicle... and then the guy said, the sons of the decease have to lay their hands on the vehicle as it moved towards the final site...
and so the last journey begins... i can already sense tears coming down on everyone else faces... and right in front of me was my mum, she was crying too... so i hold her and lay my hands on her instead... although it was a short journey, it felt like a long one...
thoughts after thoughts begin to race pass my head...
picture of her sitting by her favourite chair in the entire room, reading her newspaper...
image of her sitting with us during dinner, laughing at jokes...
image of her relaxing at the massage chair, watching her fav soap opera and most recently i found out, she loves sponge bob... lolness
but the last thought before we reach the site was her telling me to take care of my family and be a good boy and grow up and be a good citizen of the world... that was the thought that hits the mark..
i begins to sob silently as these thoughts rest in my head... i would not be able see her again
or
listen to her gossips
or
smell that cigarrate fragrance she blows out
or
the tasty curry and sweet and sour soup she loves to make
or
greet her chinese new year from now on...
as we approach the burning funnels, we were required to kneel down again and the monk begins his chanting... i guess you don't have to be a chinese nor chinese educated nor speak chinese to know what it means... i guess it myself... it was a prayer to send her off... a prayer of smooth journey to the other side...
as the chanting continues, everyone was dreading the final sentence... as the helper motion us to face down and not look, the wailing begins to be heard... the box pushed into the fiery funnel, the final tangible part of her is evaporising and and every second the box is in there, the wailing continues... only after sometime where everyone gather themselves together... washing our hands with the flower-soak water...
Rest in peace, my dear mama...
anyway, i woken up like a few hours later and can hear a lot of buzzing sounds... i woke up and saw that many people have arrive and was sitting at the tables provided and talking among themselves... i sat up and look around and notice that my couz, sue lynn... is sleeping like next to me... lol... she had a pillow over her head... like hiding her sleeping face from the world... lol... i understand... like who would want their sleepy face be reveal... its suppose to be a private and totally confidential thing, only to be reveal to ur one and only, true love... cheh wah...
anyway, me mum asked me whether i wanna consume any food to filled my stomach, i reply no, cause i'm not really in the mood to eat... so i woke up and freshen up and came out and then sat down and waited... and waited... and waited...
then it was time...
the time has come for the final bow
the time has come for the final respect
the time has come to move on
we were all required by the guy in charge to be kneeling down beside the wooden box... then one by one were called according to their position in the family and give their respect.. .then it was the grandchildrens... i was the one who represents the son's side... so they asked me to hold the offerings and offered them... it was a bit akward as i'm not sure wat to do... but the guy was directing me ... so i don't look like a lost chicken running around without a head... so after me was a whole bunch or other people... then towards the end, was friends and distant relatives... then the final hour has come... it was time to burn...
the guy asked all of us to clear of the floor and go out of the lot and asked us not to look... as if we are all robots, all of us just follow the directions... then without realizing it, the box was already in the modified vehicle... and then the guy said, the sons of the decease have to lay their hands on the vehicle as it moved towards the final site...
and so the last journey begins... i can already sense tears coming down on everyone else faces... and right in front of me was my mum, she was crying too... so i hold her and lay my hands on her instead... although it was a short journey, it felt like a long one...
thoughts after thoughts begin to race pass my head...
picture of her sitting by her favourite chair in the entire room, reading her newspaper...
image of her sitting with us during dinner, laughing at jokes...
image of her relaxing at the massage chair, watching her fav soap opera and most recently i found out, she loves sponge bob... lolness
but the last thought before we reach the site was her telling me to take care of my family and be a good boy and grow up and be a good citizen of the world... that was the thought that hits the mark..
i begins to sob silently as these thoughts rest in my head... i would not be able see her again
or
listen to her gossips
or
smell that cigarrate fragrance she blows out
or
the tasty curry and sweet and sour soup she loves to make
or
greet her chinese new year from now on...
as we approach the burning funnels, we were required to kneel down again and the monk begins his chanting... i guess you don't have to be a chinese nor chinese educated nor speak chinese to know what it means... i guess it myself... it was a prayer to send her off... a prayer of smooth journey to the other side...
as the chanting continues, everyone was dreading the final sentence... as the helper motion us to face down and not look, the wailing begins to be heard... the box pushed into the fiery funnel, the final tangible part of her is evaporising and and every second the box is in there, the wailing continues... only after sometime where everyone gather themselves together... washing our hands with the flower-soak water...
Rest in peace, my dear mama...
Tan Mun Hoon
(1929 - 2008)
(1929 - 2008)
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