sigh...my first emo post...

Yup, you heard me... this is my first emo post...

Well...why i suddenly wanted to do an emo post?! Hahahaha...the ironic thing is that today in college i was hyper and happy and all-bubbly, as i am always...

Well, as everyone who knows me by name and personality... i'm a very bubbly, happy, hyper and lets not forget that i'm alway kinda soft in nature... soft as in not the "hey, i'm a guy, look at my huge biceps" nor "hey, i'm a guy, i don't tlak with my hands all over the place"..you get the point...

Basically is this, i'm not the normal average guy who live up the quote "talks like a man, walks like a man"... especially all my close friends and those in church, they know i love moving my hands a lot when i talk and show all this really stupid faces and making funny voices... some how... i don't know why, my friends in college....actually two of my kinda-closest friends in college, preceive it as gay... so they were telling me that, "please dun act like you're so gay" kinda thing... at first it was a bit shocking la cause no one in church sayd that about me... maybe because you guys are so kinda and "sopan" la....

So i kinda ignore it and maybe change a bit... everything goe snormally till today... i was talking with my friend and was acting super the childish kinda thing... me being really playful and all... and then suddenly, another friend of mine ( both of them are quite close, so i guess they tell each other everything?! besides, that's another whole story...) sms me and said that i was embarressing him just now... for a while i was quite taken back but then the statement hit rock bottom... i feel insulted and offended by that... i was damn PISS!!!!

First thing was that, he didn't confront me about it... another thing was that, how dare he said i'm embarssing when it is your own choice to tlak to me and hang with me... so i was really angry this evening when i reach home... i was really controlling myself and not letting me blowing up at everyone cause i just don't want to... so i ate dinner and went to take a nap...

So this is the issue here, it makes me think about who are your friends... let me rephase that, who are you TRUE friends... i know that and my dad always reminded me of this, that true friends are those who accept you for who you are and not trying to change you for what they want you to be... those friends who try to change you are not worth your time at all... i was thinking about this over and over again... then i realise that these two so-called kinda-close friends of mine are not really my friends after all... for they try to change me for who i really am.. which is bubbly, happy, childish, hyper... not to mention moments of bitchiness... so it really makes me evaluate them as individuals in my life...

Sometimes it hurts to think like this because you really like them but then again, if they can't live with who you are as a person, then they are not worth your time at all... let it pass and maybe something even more wonderful will come along... sigh... i will still give them another chance to see whether will they say anything else.. and if they do... lets just say that they have help me make my decisions...

And oh, one more thing, you might argue that friends will help you change for the better, tell me, if i change my ways of talking and moving and all those who makes me paul as in paul wong... will i still be paul or will i be "the paul wong you want me to be..."

i guess that's it for my so-called emo post for now... maybe i'll post another later... fun la being emo...lolz

Paul Wong..emo-ly OUT...