..::|| finally!!! ||::..

( random post much )

finally!!!

i'm king of the world !!!

beat that bitches!!!

XD

..::|| R.I.P ||::..

like never!!!

hahahahhahahahahhahah

hey ya'll

i know it's a weird trend...

like i'll post some crap for a period of time...

then sorta like abandon this blog...

and then come back again to post some more stuff...

oh well...

i'm like the what you call that...

erm...

something la...

lol...

don't worry, i'm still a blogger...

will find something to blog about my pathetic life...

sorta..

lol...

as for now...

i'm in need to eat...

hungry like crazy...

ciao ya'lls bitches!!!

..::|| Unstable ||::..

There are two types of high-level of self esteem...

stable and unstable...

unstable high level of self esteem 

lack in confidence of their own self-worth 

stable high level of self esteem

comfortable with self worth and confident in own skills

unstable high level of self esteem is related to Narcissism...

define as 

personality trait characterized by insecurity and constant need of reassurance...

sigh...

guess which one is moi...

i shall strive for stability then!!!

fighting!!!

..::|| never in my entire life... ||::..

will i imagine myself changing a flat tire...

it was such a major accomplishment that i think i deserve a standing ovation!!!

and some major cam-whore moment in receiving my prize...

|| i know i looked dyamnn retarded... ||

*it's my lappie's battery i'm holding... XD*

the story goes like this...

we were all hanging out in WKCCT

( wong kok char chang teng... did i even spell that correctly?! )

and then decided to head home and call it a night...

mana tahu luckily i haven't even start my car yet...

someone sent an SOS to me...

me bitch called and said that his tire is flat...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

exactly my reaction...

major dot-dot-dot moment...

i was like

" err, ok... i'm coming now... "

and so i went to the nearby petrol station and there he was... with all the equipment and the boot wide open...

i was smiling and then got out, and started helping him...

he was calling this calling that, sweat was dripping of his face...

and then i laughed...

not at him but at the entire situation...

it was funny because the fact that the both of us have never experience a flat tire before...

and this is the first time for the both of us...

i mean it's kind alike general knowledge to know how to change a tire

especially if you're a guy...

it's embedded in our DNA to KNOW how to change a tire...

at first i was kinda erm... blur and not sure what to do...
the bitch in me was still out...
and then when he was also blur and don't know what to do...
i took charged and started to do the first thing...


which is to elevate the car...


somehow, as i begin to turn the knob slowly...
my inner dude-ness came out and as if by some miracle...
i know what to do next...


( although at one point when i was unscrewing the nuts on the wheel using the erm... metal thing, i was singing the soundtrack from "sounds of music" because you have to use your feet to loosen up the nuts... or something like that... major wtf moment... )


and then i just changed the tire as if i have been doing it countless of times already...


although there were some difficulties in trying to fit the spare tire into the nuts... 
the genius in me thought of releasing the air a bit and the fit it in...


long story short... 


we changed the tire successfully!!!


XD


dyamnnn proud la...
like to the max...


considering the fact that two bitches was forced to change tire in the middle of the night... 
with NO HELP at all!!!




hahahahhaahahahhahahah...


*patting self on the back*


yea, i know...
lame... like that also can be so proud...


oh well...


i find joy and pride in the littlest thing in life... 


hmmm...


of course my hands were dyamnn dirty la...
and that was were my OCD kicks in...


X(

..::|| bad feeling... ||::..

having mixed feelings...

XS

not good...

sigh...

go away!!!

..::|| i'm not who i am anymore... ||::..

lately, i'm kinda having a little erm...

identity moratorium...

( it's a psychological term for people whom have not discover who they are but am committed in finding out... )

well, it's not like an identity crisis...

nor that i'm completely at loss of who i am...

but it's more of not recognizing who this person is at the moment...

( i'm so talking in third person view kinda thing but make no mistake all reference are to myself... )

few things i've realized over the past few months

~ i'm not the bubbly, happy-go-lucky annoying optimist that i am ~

~ i'm worried over all the tiniest little things that is just so petty ~

~ not to mentioned, annoyance is always around the corner ~

~ paranoia is just another friend of mine whom i have constant encounters with ~

~ temper is another good friend of mine whom i absolutely hate but still is my best friend ~

~ bitchiness has always been a part of me but lately she is surfacing much too often ~

~ selfishness is just another walk in the park every single second of my day ~

( ok, it's not THAT abstract la... basically all the different things i'm feeling nowadays la )

i'm not too sure what is the root cause of all these negativity

i don't even know when it all started

i do remember distinctively one occasion where my darhling friend...

steffy

told me that my optimistic view and positivity is a good influence and that is what they ( as in my bitches ) need...

i think i've lose that part of me...

i'm still searching for it back...

i have no freaking idea where it went...

i kinda miss the days where i'm just constantly smiling...

my ego is none existence...

i'm just all about world-peace

( corny as it may sound but so true... )

it's a part of me which i'm proud of and i know that not many people have that...

that's the reason why i want it...

not to rub it into people's faces but more of spreading, injecting, diffusing

it to others who is in need of it...

*deep inhalation of air*

*huge exhalation of sighness*

i shall hunt it down and trap it and forever embed it in my heart...

ush!!!

fighting!!!

( i know this is a very erm... abstract and totally self-absorbed post but oh well... it's very therapeutic so to speak... XP )

sarangae manae manae...

..::|| converting into a health freak... ||::..

recently my kind-sweet-ever-willing friend aka chi mui gave me a free pass to enter

it was my first time ever entering a commercial gym...

seriously...

( everyone say together now... NOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!! )

and so, was given a private tour of the gym, locker, equipment and all...

and was kinda fascinated by all of em'

and then we headed straight to the cardio section...

threadmill

my most hated nightmare...

i hated running...

running has been a major erm...

well... major...

lets just say it's a pain in the arse and i would completely avoid it if i can...

*reminiscence back in those days where i was force to take part in jogathone-something and came in double digits... close to a triple digit kinda position*

but that was the only thing seems easy enough to do...

( lame )

i was planning to just walk and run in the threadmill

maybe go to the bicycle or something

maybe even climb some stairs...

and then we started to run...

one minute passes...

i was doing a sorta fitness runway walk...

*triple snap*

and then i picked up speed and begin a faster runway walk...

and then i begin to jog...

speed was 10 km/h

i think...

and then i realized something...

my stamina has increased by like

i dunno...

A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i jog 10 minutes non-stop...

then took a break and then continue again...

another 10 minutes non-stop...

i can't believe i can actually do that!!!

XD

but of course by then end, i was like walking side ways because of the disorientated kinda feeling and my legs were kinda numb already...

XS

( embarrassing much... )

and then i went and took a break at the lounge drinking some isotonic beverages...

and then continue to do some other weird-and-new workout with my chi mui...

i lasted for another 30 minutes

and then something happened...

before that, i never understood how people can vomit and throw up and all after an intense workout...

( courtesy of biggest loser... )

that day i found out how it can happen...

we went to the bikes and begin cycling...

1 minutes slow ( 60 something speed )

1 minute intense cycling ( 120 something speed )

i did the first interval...

was resting and felt like my heart was at the bottom of my stomach...

wasn't feeling very good...

and then the second interval...

that was when it hit me...

i was suddenly super dizzy and felt like everything was turning...

my face was super pale

( according to him )

and so i knew i need to lie down some where...

i quickly got off the bike...

walked quickly to the locker room...

and collapse on the bench...

i was at the point of throwing up...

i have no idea how to deal with it...

i knew i shouldn't lie down or sit...

but i can't help it...

cut the long story short...

it took me 45 minutes to fully recover...

even by then also i feel a bit dizzy...

first experience of overworked...

yea...

total erm... fail!!!

but somehow...

i like it...

i meant the exercising part...

not the dizzy-feel-like-throwing-up part...

but after that...

i felt great...

although there were pains and stuff

but generally, i felt awesome...

like healthier kinda thing...

and so

i plan to join a gym!!!

like dyamnnn semangat-ed!!!

but it was damped by my fathers big

NO

because he said that i can be active and healthy without it...

said that if i can show him that i practice a healthier lifestyle

( translation = run more, go swimming, don't sleep so late and etc etc... )

he'll consider the gym membership...

and so...

i have to like you know...

start exercising...

X(

sigh...

gambatei!!!

ush!!!

wanna look like that!!!

|| of course... without the boobs and other non-male parts la... XD ||